Even Harry
by Susie-Draegalia
Summary: I've decided to post all of these little segments on one story so they're easier to find and read. Enjoy Stories/Books Hated So Far: Twilight, A Separate Peace
1. Twilight

A/N:

Just a little thing that hit me when I had writer's block. So, naturally, I had to laugh/write it down before uploading it with lots of lolololololololololz.

I don't own Harry Potter (unfortunately) and I am proud to say that I do not own, nor support, anything Twilight. I do, however, own a copy of the movie "Vampires Suck". It's a good investment of time and funds, in case you are wondering.

* * *

Harry looked at the two books Hermione had slid across the table to him. One of the two demanded his immediate attention, but he could not simply ignore the second. There was too much feedback, both positive and negative, regarding it.

"They were in Bathilda's sitting room, just lying on the end table... This note was stuck on top of them... '_Dear Batty, Thank you for your help. Here's a copy of the book, hope you like it. You said everything, even if you don't remember it. Oh, and I positively _loved_ this book! I thought it would work as a little thank-you. Rita',_" Hermione read aloud.

Harry stared blankly at the first book before deciding that _The Life and Lies of Albus Dumbledore_ could wait a few minutes. After all, there was sure to be nothing startling- such as the discovery of Dumbledore's close ties with various Dark Lords- that would completely change his plans and his views on the late Headmaster.

And so, he opened the second book. The book's spine was stiff with disuse.

With some trepidation, Harry began to read aloud.

"'_I'd never given much thought to how I would die- though I had reason enough in the last few months- but even if I had, I would not have imagined it like this. I stared without breathing across the long room, into the dark eyes of the hunter, and he looked pleasantly back at me. Surely it was a good way to die, it the place of someone else, someone I loved. Noble, even. That ought to-' _What's this rubbish?"

"It's-" Hermione began, her voice a strange combination of fear and disgust. "_Twilight_."

Harry slammed the book shut, grimacing at the cover before throwing the book unceremoniously over his shoulder.

"The girls at Hogwarts never would be quiet about it, so I was a bit curious," Hermione admitted, her voice now nervous. Harry looked up at her and realized that she was probably still scared that he was angry at her for breaking his wand in the escape. He sighed, shaking his head.

"I'll never understand girls," he declared. He glanced up at her quickly before his eyes shot back to Rita Skeeter's latest bestseller. "Here goes nothing," he said, reaching for the book.

A/N:

So, I hope you liked it, even though it's crazy short. I didn't want to deprive any Team Potter fans of anything that bashes Twilight. Also, Twilight fans, you are on the wrong team.

For the record, I'm Team Jacob Needs to Find Someone That Isn't a Potentially Suicidal and Over-dramatic Idiot. Or Team Tyler's Van (for very nearly ending the saga after just 56 pages of torture). Or Team Bella and Edward Deserve Each Other, Seeing As They are Both Legitimate Freaks.

Sorry if I offended anyone.

^.^ Susie ^.^

PS: Also, I thoroughly enjoy flames, so please make some up, especially if you feel offended in any way, shape, or form. Even if you agree and dislike Twilight, it gives me a laugh to see how strongly some people feel about things. I won't begrudge you if you are anonymous.

PPS:

Check out this logic:

Cedric Diggory (equals) Edward Cullen

Voldemort (is greater than) Cedric Diggory

Harry Potter (is greater than) Voldemort

Therefore,

Harry Potter (is greater than) Edward Cullen

Woo, math-like things!

And no, for the record, I did not come up with ^^that^^. I found it on a t-shirt ;)

PPPS:

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL OF THE REVIEWS AND SUCH! Love you guys x3


	2. A Separate Peace

A/N:

Had more writers block... This is a fun outlet, even though this one is even shorter than the last...

Don't own anything.

* * *

"You've got to stop doing this to me, Hermione," Harry groaned, shutting the book for the last time. Hermione reddened indignantly.

"I didn't _make_ you read it!" she exclaimed. Harry shot her a withering glance and Hermione crossed her arms. "I didn't!"

"You have, just indirectly. You got Ginny absolutely addicted to this book. It makes me look bad if I haven't a clue what she's talking about," he grimaced. Hermione grinned in victory.

"See? _Someone_ has a good taste in books!"

Harry sent her a dead-serious look.

"Hermione. She made it through four chapters of _Twilight_. That says _everything_ about her taste in books. And I don't see how-" Harry paused to glance at the cover of the book, "_A Separate Peace_ is such a good book."

"What are you talking about? It is about-"

"Hermione, it got better once the guy died," Harry interrupted. "I understand that... Gene, was it? Yeah, he was a git to his friend. But that Finny bloke wasn't much better. Honestly, it's obvious Gene felt guilty about breaking his leg. He didn't have to jump to conclusions and agree with Brinker."

"See?" Hermione said proudly. "You _did_ understand the book!"

"Yeah, I understood it. And its terrible," Harry said, setting the novel on the table.

* * *

A/N:

I had to read A Separate Peace recently. Honestly hate the book and I don't hate many books. It's pretty much: the entire Twilight saga, A Separate Peace, and... I can't think of anything at the moment... As you can tell, it's a short list.

Hope you like it~

Leave a review with a new book and I'll see what I can do :)

^.^ Susie ^.^


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